Brady says "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 is the worst movie I have ever seen"

In the second installment of our search for the worst movie, we have a bold submission, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. Brady is convinced that this horror movie is more horrific than horrifying. Let's see if she was right...

There are a few facts in this world that no one will argue. For example: Batman is much cooler than Superman. The designated hitter rule is bogus. Guns don’t kill people, Chuck Norris kills people. Etc.

One such fact is that The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is scary. In its original 1974 incarnation, Tobe Hooper’s grimy, gorefest is undeniably frightening with scenes so shocking that no viewer goes to the hardware store in the same frame of mind again. The moral implications of this film are absolutely debatable (its glorification of violence against women is reprehensible as is its status as the catalyst for the current “horror porn” genre which has brought us the Saw and Hostel movies) but its ability to remove the bejesus from all of us is beyond reproach.
It is this fact that makes The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 particularly dreadful. This film is so sloppy it begs the question: why did Tobe Hooper wait fourteen years to follow up his master work with this dreck? This film would be a great deal better had it simply been a retread of the original (a decision that Rob Zombie made when he made House of 1,000 Corpses). Instead all that makes the original great has been replaced with something stupid. The snuff film aesthetic of the first film (which was both an artistic choice and a by-product of a microscopic budget) is no where to be found. Instead the film looks like it was shot by the same cinematographer that brought us Animal House. The creepy old house has been replaced by a Texas Battlefield amusement park bathed in cheesy purple lights (which is, for the record, not chilling at all). Then there are the performances. The shrewd decision to use no name actors made The Texas Chainsaw Massacre feel more realistic. Here we have Dennis Hopper making a mockery of any of his work prior, or hence, as a law man intent on getting revenge.

We must not lose sight of the important fact that this movie isn’t scary. Most of the film takes place in broad daylight with people talking about people being massacred via chainsaws. 36 minutes in there was one solid scare but the rest of the film proceeded so clumsily that it is almost impossible for the viewer to suspend belief long enough to be scared.
Some claim that this movie is supposed to be a comedy (the Internet Movie Database lists the genre as “Comedy Horror”). If this is true this movie is even worse than previously stated. Evil Dead 2 is a brilliant example of Comedy Horror. Just making a crappy horror movie does not make it funny. It makes it crappy.

HOWEVER there is one aspect of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 that, if not good, is actually interesting. That would be the inspired performance of Bill Moseley as Leatherface’s brother Chop Top. Moeseley provides lunacy and energy that belongs in a better film. It is also quite possible that his mannerisims and vocalizations were stolen for use by Michael Keaton in Beetlejuice. When Chop Top, scratching at the metal brain covering he received after a stint in Vietnam, screams “lick my plate you dog d__ ck!” there is a moment of actual enjoyment in this waste of great source material.