Oscar Pre-Show coverage

The snacks are set, the predictions are in and the pre-show has begun.
I have assembled a crack team of movie aficionados to help me fill the evening with comments both snarky and sincere.

Here is what we have learned so far:
SEXUAL ASSAULT ALERT: Gary Busey has struck again, kissing a shocked Jennifer Garner on the neck. Mothers, lock up your daughters.
John Travolta's spray-on hair has powers, evil powers.
Regis Philbin can do a better interview than Ryan Seacrest even though he appears to be almost completely deaf.
Steve Guttenburg seems to have gotten an invitation Oscars, so there is hope for all of us.
Mickey Rooney is alive and still adorable.
Ellen Page still has some work to do to prove that she is not a pretentious hipster snob.
Well, as Regis just said "Everything is in readiness". It is time for the show. Check back in at the first break!